Friday, 18 July 2008

Friday 18th July

I have been so low this week I couldn't get out of bed without feeling like I was going to collapse. My tummy was blown up like a balloon & I couldn't eat a thing. I was also so depressed that I just didn't see the point of carrying on anymore. it's my girls & grandkids that give me a reason to live. If I didn't have all that I think things would be different. People think I actually enjoy being like this (huh?) and say "you look okay to me". It's a well-used phrase that people use when they talk to those who suffer with Fibromyalgia. I have also been told by my GP that I've got to live with my breathlessness as my lungs are bad. I've also been told that the burning pains I get in my finger joints & right knee is due to the Rheumatic side of the FMS - basically I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. It just gets better & better. One day I'll put the whole list of [various & personal] symptoms experienced by FMS sufferers. It's no holiday & I hate not having the money I used to earn.

My apologies to my 'girls' for cancelling the class last nite. I was so out of sorts that I wouldn't have been any good at all. Why does everything hapen when I'm going to hold my class? That's a real demon getting in. I shall be holding the class next Thursday instead, if it suits everyone. It's a shame as the kit is so brilliant - monochrome B&W. I have done a wedding photo, it certainly lends itself to a wedding photo. It's good value too.

I'm hoping to get going on Jen & Carl's album. I have practically finished it & it just needs 'tweeking'. I'm such a perfectionist. I find it so hard to get going these days - I have really lost my 'mojo' since I was in hospital. I'm going to do a 'ScrapJammies' kit layout to get me going. The monthly kits are wonderful for when you 'lose it'.
I then need to start my son & daughter-in-law's album. I did the first page ages ago - an engagement photo. It sets the scene for the album. I'd love to do it all in monochrome but I think they may not appreciate it as much as I would but I shall be doing a few monochromes in between as i have ordered an extra monthly class kit for me!!

I have speaking on the phone with one of my husband's clients. She usually phones his mobile but she said she felt that she should phone our land-line! We ended up 30 minutes talking. She has encouraged me to use my skills in a different way. I'd love to host a drop-in breast-feeding / pregnancy group where mum's & dad's can come & chat & if they have any questions etc.
I'd also like to help mum's on-line. If they have questions etc. I am an advanced breast feeding consultant & midwife. I also have a diploma in palliative / cancer care so I could just be there for those who are suffering or who have loved ones who are & need support & care. Why should all my qualifications go to waste? There must be something out there....

Take care blog readers!!