Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Sunny Wednesday

I had a wonderful time at Suzanne's crop on Saturday. I managed to do 3 layouts & actually managed to finish the final layout in Jen & Carl's wedding album!!!! Do I hear a cheer??!!! I wasn't sure I'd manage to cope with the whole day but I wanted to give it a go & I managed to get to 3pm, dead chuffed!
It was great to catch up on old friends & those from my 'club'. There was much interest in photos of my beautiful granddaughter and her brilliant blue eyes.
Poor little soul has been through the mill this week. She has cut 4 teeth all at once, has an ear infection, chest infection & a throat infection. Jen was concerned about the measles risk as it's going around now that fewer mum's are uptaking the MMR jab for their babies. She didn't have the signs ('Koplick's spots' on tongue & behind the ears), just a heat rask from the fever. She would be getting Jen's antibodies as she's still breast feeding, so she's better off --- another good reason for prolonged breast feeding!!! When Jen told the Doctor (an old work colleague of mine) that all Amy wants to do is suck at the breast, he said "I don't blame her"!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, she's much better now that she's had 48 hours worth of anti's inside her & she actually slept last night.

My group will be running as usual tomorrow evening, as lobg as you don't mind the dining room being in a bit of a mess. I thought everything would be sorted with the building work in the conservatory, but there are 'snags' and they've got to come back. Grrr... I shall be doing the second of the Totalpapercrafts monthly kits. I still have loads of last months' kits for those who were away -- a nice bright kit (My Mind's Eye Day Dream).
I shall be running the group as a social group twice a month -- the first & third Thursday's of each month. I won't be supplying kits or doing formal teaching now as I feel you're all way ahead now, so it will just be a group of happy scrappers. I will put out my box of unused kits if anyone missed one or wants to do a second page.
I look forward to seeing you all!!

Friday, 12 September 2008

Right. First of all I thank the person who left an abusive comment on my blog. I have reported you to the people who host the blog. I hope that one day the bottom will drop out of your world. I know who you are. You're sick in the head & need to see a shrink. Don't bother to comment again - I have blocked you.

Suprise suprise, it's dry today!!! I have been up since the girls went to school. I am preparing to go to an all-day crop tomorrow, so I'm busy getting kits made up, then I don't have to take so much. It's great to get together with my friends & class members. I know I'll be able to finally finish Jen & Carl's album! Then I have to start my son's. The problem I had in doing Jen's album was that she had the most gorgeous granddaughter! She is so photogenic, you can't not take photos of her. I'm going to do a diploma in photography at our local college. I want to do weddings and births. Couples lose out on seeing their baby actually born, and, as I am a qualified midwifery sister, I can also be a birth supporter.

I am off to my counsellor today. She is lovely. I go to a christian counselling service. I have to go to talk about the a***holes who are abusive & unkind & lack the understanding of how it feels to become disabled & to lose all independance & a decent career which I loved. No, I don't "use" my girls to run about after me - they are absolute angels, blessed by the Lord, and love me - that's why they come straight in from school, come & give me a cuddle and tell me they love me. They are so grounded in knowing that life isn't all roses. They do things for me because they want to, not because they have to. I am blessed.
My husband struggles with what's happened to me, especially when I have these awful spasms where my legs bend up & he witnesses how much pain I'm in. He has his own interests, he can do what he wants.

Alice, my lovely [almost] 11 year old is starting to learn the Ukelele at school. How brilliant is that?! She played in the first ever Okarina orchestra in the district and they have brought in this new instrument for the year 6's. My other daughter, Lizzie, who's in year 8 (how scary's that?) plays the clarinet and has been submitted to take her grade exam. She's only played for about 10 months. They both have natural talent in music. How about that? Beauty and talent?!

Blessings to all my friends who have caught up with me thru various other sites.
Bye for now.

Thursday, 11 September 2008

Yet another rainy day - allelulia!

Hi all! First of all, apologies for the big gap in postings. My illness has really got a hold on me at the moment so I have to make use of a 'window' of pain-free time.
I'm still getting over our 2 weeks' holiday in Somerset - 2 weeks of pouring rain. The first week we were at a Christian conference ('New Wine'). This was our 13th year of attending, and it felt like it. It was probably not the best thing for me to have gone to but the kids, Geoff & my mum all have a whale of a time, it's just me that's a problem. I have a grievance with God at the moment. I have anger that he has allowed me to get to this state of poor health and to receive such awful negligence of care after I have given my life to the care of others since I was 16.
I couldn't bear being in the main celebration arena. I have to have a manual wheelchair when I'm away as my buggy won't go in the boot. The disabled parking was on a stony area about 200 yards from the door of the arena. I was screaming in agony when Geoff was pushing me from car to door, then having to be thrusted into the arena over a [what seemed like] huge lump. I was crying in the end. One of the young stewards came up to me & just held me. She was so caring. I couldn't cope with the wet so in the end I stayed back at the cottage & listened to the New Wine radio, so I could listen to the morning Bible study & also the evening praise. We are giving it a break next year.

My illness has affected all aspects of my life. I am under the control of an auto-immune disease which is unpredictable so I don't know how I'll be from one day to the next. It has affected our marriage - some days I absolutely despise him for his total lack of understanding of my illnesses. Do I really want to be like this?? I'm dependant on others, including my girls, bless them. They run around for me & love me. You would think that having witnessed me having a respiratory arrest (June 2006) that he would realise how fragile my life is & make good use of the time given.
My friends have turned their backs on me. I can't do all the fun things anymore. One friend (of 30 years +) said I was "on drugs" because I was on a slow-release morphine. So she kept on referring to my being on drugs. For God's sake, I can't help being like this & I need adequate pain relief to keep me going. I have a patch now, which is better but for whatever reason it won't stick on me so I have to have micropore to stick it on! Trust me to be awkward!
Some days I feel so low that I just want out of it. If it wasn't for my lovely girls it would be so easy. They are the reason to live. They are growing up so quickly - Elizabeth (Lizzie) is in year 8 & Alice is in year 6. They are both starting puberty, so they need me in this difficult time. When they come in from school we have a "pow-wow", talk about what they've done at school etc. We talk about all sorts of things -- things I didn't know about at their age!! But I want them to be street-wise.
My 'working dog' Rosie hates it when I'm out of sorts - especially if I have to have the doctor in. When I was bad in February I had 2 doctors & 2 Paramedics trying to force me to go into hospital. She was going beserk. She'll lie beside me with her chin on me & won't leave my side. She is my caring angel on 4 legs.

I still do my scrapbooking when I can. I have decided not to run my Thursday scrapbooking evening as a get-together of friends rather than a class. We're all at the same level so it takes the pressure of me & also if I'm poorly & have to cancel, I'm not left with a load of kits. I also try to get to the Saturday all-day crops as much as I can.
I have just one more page to complete & Jen & Carl's wedding album is finished!! I can only do scrapping for a short period of time & it's very much when I can. Jen's very forgiving & is looking forward to seeing it.

Finally, Paul (if you read this) I was so chuffed to hear of your good news! Bless you both X