Sloppy Sunday

OMG! I am suffering so bad with these pains in my legs - it was so bad this morning that I couldn't move. I didn't go to church because I couldn't this morning rather than before when I just didn't want to. I buggered up all Geoff's plans because he was leading at a different church in our parish; I was meant to be taking the girls to our church & bring them home (the church services are different times), so he had to get someone to look after them for us. He must have been sympathetic with me coz he never tutted nor moaned. I had to have 2 lots of Oromorph in the night & I must have slept about 2 hours as I was Up & down trying to get comfy. I ended up with a wheatbag between my knees & another in my back. I read an awful lot of Harry Potter last night!!! lol
I thought I was getting better. I went out with Jen on Friday for her wedding dress fitting (the photos are awesome), I also drove on Friday. We hosted a dinner party on Friday evening --- Geoff did all the work - I did nothing except wash a few pots. I'd dropped right down on my Oxygen requirements & now I've had to have some last night & this morning.
:( Now I feel so fed up.... Keep praying for me all you pray-ers, it would be so comforting knowing that people are still praying for me. Thank you.
I'll just post up the photo of Geoff & I taken Friday evening. It's a bit of a crappy one of me -- I've put on so much weight due to the Gabapentin medication I have to take -- but it's a great one of Geoff.
See you tomorrow. God bless you all.

Saturday 27th

Hi! Sorry I've neglected my blog for a couple of days, for no real reason, except that one or other of the kids have 'kidnapped' my computer! We had quite a lot of snow here in Southborough; it's all gone now, we had sun today but now turned cloudy. You surely see that the days are getting longer now, thank goodness!
I got the results of my X-ray that I had on the 15th, and it's good news. The scarring is lessening & the consolidation of both lower lobes has also lessened, all by slight changes but at least we're heading in the right direction, thank the Lord. I've cut down the amount of Oxygen I have during the day & I've only been having some in the evening & at night; I thought I was getting off it & then I go & get poorly today :( I was meant to be going to a day crop today & I couldn't even stand up this morning. I was, and still am, so angry with myself that I let Suzanne [who had organised it] down. I'm very, very, sorry Suzanne - I promise I won't let you down for the retreat.
I managed another milestone yesterday ----- I drove the car for the first time since June!! Yeah!!!

I saw jenny's wedding dress for the first time yeaterday ------- she looks absolutely beautiful. The dress has lovely detail on the train & it laces up the back & she has a short veil with a little bit of detail & a narrow Tiara headress. I wanted to hug & squeeze her I was so made up. I was able to take photos of her trying on her dress - ready for the first page of her album I'm doing.
The only problem was that she had Liam with her & he was being his usual naughty self; but she also had her friend Diane with her boy who was egging Liam on. It spoilt it totally. The original plan was that she took the boys off somewhere so Jen & I could get on. Diane sat herself down and didn't watch the boys --- until I suggested that she moved herself so the boys would be supervised & also there were other mums & brides-to-be trying on dresses - they don't need naughty children making a raquet. Jen & Carl have been to a marriage preparation day at the church today. It seemed to go alright. Jen was tired out as she worked last night, bless her, I know what it's like.

Someone, a friend from the class I lead, sent me an email saying how upset she was for me at how my Father-In-Law treated me. Thanks for your caring thoughts Tam. I was telling my bestest friend about it on Thursday & she laughed ---- she thought it was funny :O -- no account for people's sense of humour. Let's see how they would feel being told they looked like a witch & need a broomstick & also taking the piss out of me having Oxygen cannula in my nose. Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, it's all finished. I won't take any notice if they do it again. Life's too precious to mull over such trivia. Having almost died in hospital, I have changed my view on life. If things bother me I unload them onto Jesus' cross. Amen

Just to finish; I found a scrapbooking site yesterday that has everything. It's : http://www.scrapbook.com
Go & take a look. The new 3 Bugs in a Rug look lush...........

Tuesday 23rd

I didn't get around to finishing my blog yesterday -- after I'd helped Geoff get the shopping in & sorted out I'd totally forgotten all about it. And I'd got something to make you laugh too, that was a nuisance.
Well, one of the challenges I have to do is to 'alter' something different other than rolling pins, paperbags, boxes, tins, etc etc. I have the bees knees in altered objects -- my crutches! I'm going to stain them with Alcohol Inks & apply other embellishments. After all, I can't go to a day crop or to a retreat with plain old grey crutches can I?? So, resolution / challenge number one is about to become true. Altering boxes won't be the same again!!

I am trying to get together cut titles in preparation for crops & retreats. I thought I'd sort out the alphabets sent to me or those that I have cut at crops / retreats. My Sissix (cutting machine) seems to be playing up. I think it needs a new cutting plate. It's a pain as I wanted to cut a full alphabet, along with shadows, in preparation for Saturday's crop.
When I go to crops & retreats I make up kits to do so that I don't have to worry about how much card / paper stock to take with me, it's all done ready!
I have an all-day crop day on Saturday & a weekend retreat in February.
That'll keep me busy!

Wet Monday

Yuk! The first snow of the Winter albeit only a brief flurry. It's just raining now.

I'm recovering from one of the worst nights since I came out of hospital in July. I had so much pain I didn't know what to do with myself. As I said before, my spine seems to have detereroirated in this past few days, especially my lower spine. It feels as if it's sliding from side-to-side & then my legs go numb and/or tingle. I couldn't get out of the bath again last night. It's all I need is for my back to brew up again now I've got such awful pain in my knees. I also had a bout of chest pain yesterday but the oxygen eased that.
I've got a GP appointment on Wednesday so I'll talk this through with her. Maybe I need to put my Zomorph up a dose??

I find that Scrapbooking takes my mind from the pain; it's still there but I can cope with it. I did a challenge layout yesterday, even Geoff liked it....! I have also been cutting titles out to put with the kits I've made up for the day-crop on Saturday (poor Geoff - he's going to end up having the Grandsons from 10am 'til 3pm - marriage prep day for Jenny & Carl), but he did say I could go. I expect it'll come back to me in the days following. I'm really looking forward to going, I don't get out much. I'm sorting the photos out.

Geoff has just come back from Tescos & I'd better go & give him a hand.

Friday 19th

This entry is going to be a bit on the short side as I have a problem with my spine & knees, with real bad pain. My spine has started to slip sideways & renders me stuck in one place with excruciating pain which is unrelenting. It started doing this yesterday & once Geoff came home from pricing a job I ran a hot bath which usually helps. Anyway, when I went to get out - I couldn't.. I had nothing to grab so I fell in the bath :O I called for Geoff to help me get out of the bath & he had to dry my lower bits & put my knickers on (not literally!). I was stuck stiff. I took a large dose of Oromorph & put my TENS on. I needed to sort it as I had my Scrapaholics club.
I wanted to get better because we were celebrating the club's first anniverary. The kit was also yummy, so I didn't want to cancel.
It ended up going very well. I'll post the pictures of my example of the kit.
I don't know what February's kit is yet.
To those who have Christian Faith -- could you please pray for me & my pain? Thanks.

Thursday 18th January

People who take the piss out of disabled people stink. That's better!
I've been holding in an awful experience that happened to me on Saturday evening at Geoff's family annual get-together. I don't like going at the best of times but I didn't feel the best & Geoff had 'flu & Alice was brewing up a cold. Anyway, I went to support Geoff.
I washed my hair just before we went so that Jen could Straighten it for me as I can't get my arm above my head. As she was doing it my Nephew lit up a cigarette - I had my Oxygen on at the time - so I asked him not to smoke & explained. My Sister-in-Law muttered something under her breath that I couldn't lip-read.... Okay, so that's the start of the evening...
After Jen had finished my hair I went into the sitting room & my Father-in-law said "Where is your broomstick?" I looked at him, and he repeated "All you need is a broomstick".. I turned to my son's girlfriend & asked her if he was trying to say I was a witch, she said she thought so. Then he said "it's horrible". I was talking to kelly & I could hear giggles behind me & I turned to see Bob's late wife & my Father-in-law giggling as Sam (F-I-L) was taking the piss out of my nasal cannula, making gestures like Hitler (ie finger under nose, blah, blah) & they were in hysterics with tears in their eyes. :( :( That was so out-of-order. Geoff wasn't there at the time so he took Sam's side (as usual). No-one was talking to me and Jen was also upset because Gill (my Sister-in-law [the one who made the muttering remark earlier about me]) was heard to say, very loudly, that Jen was a slapper because she took a different bloke to each of these get-togethers. She has been unlucky & vulnerable with these other blokes, but Carl is a different kettle of fish. he's made my daughter into a different person.
I asked Geoff whether Gill was actually aware of how poorly I was & his answer was "I suppose so" -- in other words - no.
My mum never liked the Bakers. She said they're like a mafia -- they draw together tightly, forsaking all others. I wouldn't have been suprised that Geoff, had he been there at the time, would have joined in with laughing at Sam.
Sam held up a glass of whisky & said "this is all you need to get better" -- Bob died of total organ failure due to over consumption of alcohol ... Alcohol is the answer to everything in the Baker family, it's always been that way.
Apparently, it kicked off a bit after we'd gone (9.30) because Jen had supported me & also herself, saying we didn't deserve all those horrid remarks, and also because she wasn't a slapper. Most of the family totally ignored me at the funeral. Sam pulled me to one side & said "I hope we didn't upset you on Saturday, we didn't mean to, we were just having a laugh", my reply was "yes, you did upset me & you meant to". I made the [right] decision not to attend the "wake" afterwards as i think Jen & I would be ignored.
I'm not going to attend any further Baker events, that's final.
The rectors wife came round yesterday because she'd heard waht had happened. We prayed together that I do have a function in life, I am good enough, in God's eyes I'm a special person, no matter how I feel. That they had no right to behave that way towards me & it was purely ignorance on their behalf. Knowing that I was special in Jesus' eyes made me feel so much better.

Wednesday 17th January

OMG! I cannot believe we're over halfway through January already! My dear mum is off to Portugal tomorrow -- lucky thing! What would I give to get some sunshine!
We had Geoff's brother's funeral on Monday -- it left me with nothing, spiritually. There were no hymns or anything & they'd dragged out this priest who no-one knew but someone Bob knew did. This guy was bursting out of his hassock [which could have done with a good clean] & pronounced that he didn't know Bob but a lot of people did... I originally thought that it was going to be a Humanist Funeral ( a mixture of music, prayers, readings, poems, testimonies etc) but it wasn't. I was really proud of Geoff being a pall-bearer.

Very windy Friday!!

Mornin' all! This wind is unrelenting...
My poor husband isn't well -- poor one. He's got a headache. Mt daughter (9) is also suffering but she's on the laptop on the internet too (Geoff put up one of those router thingys so I can use the main one & the kids can use his laptop). Big problems -- Elizabeth has overheated the laptop = tantrum as she can't play her game, yadda, yadda, yadda. She's like a flaming two-year old at the moment. Talk about "Kevin & Perry". We've got the slamming doors, tantrums, 'you don't love me', etc etc etc. It just about does your head in. That's why I'm sitting here finishing the 'Quality Street' that no-one likes - yummy!!!!!
My flippin' wrist keeps giving way so I drop things. Not so good when you're holding a full mug of hot drink :O It went all over the carpet in our bedroom & soaked everything. Geoff was more worried about the carpet than my wrist. It's part of my FMS. What a pain (in more ways than one)...
We've got 'the Baker family's yearly meet-up' tomorrow evening. To be honest I'd rather stay at home. The family is wierd -- they kinda close ranks on themselves. Their parties always have to end with people dancing & removing their clothes -- out-of-order when young children are about. I know for a fact that none of them would have come to see me in hospital had Bob not been in (in a different ward) at the same time. Geoff's only fit to be a chauffeur.
I'll let you know how it goes....

I'm sitting here devouring a chocolate orange......

....and you're not having any..!!! My strategy is to eat all my Christmas chocolate & then go on a no-chocolate diet. I usually give up chocolate for Lent, believe me it is like fasting to me!! My favourite chocolate is Galaxy if anyone feels the need to send me any.
I've been frantically trying to finish an 8x8" album of mum's cruise last year. It's really hard to adjust to going to 8x8 from 12x12". I've made some photos smaller so I can include them as they are beautiful. The funniest one is of my mum standing next to the ship. She's wearing her hat as the sun was blasting down -- but she does look funny!!
The papers for holidays (Vacations) are limited. Sun Sea sand. So I've had to 'go out of the box' in search of embellishments instead. I'm hoping to finish it tomorrow -- that's if I don't run out of page protectors. She had 11 days at sea.

I've really gone barmy as far as scrapping is concerned. I've done 8 layouts plus this album. I hope I keep this up!! I tried writing with paint Tuesday, on a Crate layout from the October Scrapbook Stand kit. It looked like liquid chocolate but nevertheless was effective. A steady hand is needed! To be honest, anything would look lush on Crate.
January's Scrapbook Stand looks good -- lots of snow related papers etc. Hope we get some snow this year!! I wonder what the girls do who live on the hot side of USA -- do they build sandmen or throw sand balls?????!!!!!!!!! ROFL

I'm waiting on several parcels from USA. I've got my SS kit, and several good buys from Ebay. I made good use of the good $/£ exchange rate. Mean, that's me!

Wet Monday..... :( :( :(

I hate wet/damp weather... Grrrr... It plays havoc with my joints. I had to have a whole day in bed yesterday as my joints were so painful. I can't sit for a long time, so I'm restricted in the amount of scrapbooking I get done. In fact, if I do sit & scrap for too long, it's my back that plays up. It looks like my arthritis is getting worse, but it does tend to get worse at this time of year :O Today, my aim is to go through my Scrapbook Stand kit boxes ( www.thescrapbookstand.com ) and sort them out into my stash. I still have the boxes from June!! The thing is, I only have one or two pieces of paper/card, embellies etc, in the early boxes. So, my aim for 2007 is to only have 3 or 4 months' kits complete. It takes up so much room otherwise.
The scrapbook stand kits are wonderful! I can't wait to get my box of goodies each month -- and the kit is such good value - especially now the £ / $ rate is so good. Now's the time to buy your USA stash girls (& boys??)! The 'girls' - Rori & Missy - from the SS are so good about sorting out any problems, nothing is too much for them & eveything is dealt with immediately. For example, last Months' kit included a glass bauble - well mine was just a box of shards of glass, confetti, beads, buttons & flowers :O The confetti & glass had 'escaped' from the box and had spread itself all through the cardstock. Fortunately my dear grandsons weren't around or things could have been a bit difficult. Anyway, a email to Rori and the problem is sorted and I'm to get 2 kits this month!!!! How exciting is that!!! So, if you're debating whether to go for a USA kit, give TSS a try, you won't regret it! I won't charge for the advertising Rori & Missy!

I'm off to sort through my kit boxes now.
Watch this space as to whether I keep my resolution of condensing my stash. When I move into my little craft room, hopefully in March, storage will be a problem, so if I start now... I'm bound to get distracted!! lol

Twelfth night (last night anyway!)

That's it, Christmas & new year all done & dusted for another year! I plan to be more organised this year------ so I've already written my cards!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFL!! Yes, I know you're saying I'll forget where I've put them, but I won't as they'll be in Geoff's wardrobe, so there! I haven't done the family ones (not yet anyway). I usually do get organised, but not to this extent, but now I've seen how incompetent [most] men are when it comes to Christmas I plan for the worst this year. I'm often seen buying presents in the sales [people get better presents that way as you're still spending the same money on them]. This year I'm only buying for children & close family, and, due to the reaction of my mum to the album that I'd spent ages making for her, I'll probably only buy. Did I ever say how upset I'd felt?????

My mum said a right corker today. My daughter Jenny (24), myself & mum were talking together and Jen was saying that she was now off Seroxat (horrible antidepressant) at last. I advised her that should she feel vulnerable she must speak to someone. My mum said 'she's a right one to talk' ---- looking at me! After her saying I was being dramatic!!!!!! Don't get that one at all...
The last thing I want is jen being extra stressed, she's getting married in June & that's stressy enough. They say getting married comes second in the risk list to divorce! All I say is 'Good luck to Carl'!!!!

We've got our central heating back!! Yay!!! Our friend, a plumber, has spent that long on the floor in my bedroom that the neighbours are whispering behind hands!! LOL Mind you, it was nice not being so hot -- with the flushes, you understand?!

Scrapbooking
I have been working like a trojan on my Christmas pages. I took so many pictures over the holidays, especially of the boys, I didn't want them forgotten about. Although my Scrapbook Stand kit got ruined, I still have a whole BG pack of 'Blitzen' sitting in my paper case. What a good time to use it up! That is one of my aims for 2007 -- to use up my stash before buying any more. Some hopes! Does a smoker wait until they've smoked their last?????? I love looking round craft shops & browsing through on-line shops, it's a fetish, you know, touching & stroking papers & talking to them....... der..
Anyway, back to the layouts. I did this one of Callum with his presents -- "Christmas Present" - and then I'm going to do another -- "Christmas Past". Double layout worth 20 pts on UKS. My wall is absolutely covered with layouts I've done this past week.
I'm going to sort out my papers & stash -- another aim for 2007 that probably won't get done either... I'm going to make a tag book about my aims for 2007 & have some form of indicator as to whether I obey them or not.
Okay! I'm off to make the tag book!
Bye!

Thursday 4th January

Blimey! It's the beginning of January & it looks like Spring outside...! Apparently it's supposed to snow soon -- we don't really get it us down south... It looks lovely on Christmas cards but I hate it when it goes slushy.

I haven't posted for a bit because I had a problem with my computer. Typical!

This blog is going to be hard to 'write' today. I feel so low at the moment - things are really grim.
My brother-In-Law, Bob, died last night. He had total organ-failure due to alcohol abuse. He was 60. His illness has caused a lot of stress for Geoff. I know I'm enough to cope with... Things have got so bad in our relationship that, if we didn't have the girls, I'd take a way out. I was talking to the practise nurse when I was having blood taken on Tuesday & I was telling her how I feel, she tried to get me to see a Dr but I refused. It just makes things more complicated.
Geoff had denied that I'd told him that I needed taking to the DRs on Tuesday. He turned round & yelled at me -- 'well now you've f***** my day' :O as if I'd do all this out of enjoyment!! I feel he justhates me and that he wants to do all this work & be involved in the church just to be away from me. Anyway, I phoned my mum to see if she could help & I was saying that I can't see the point in carrying on anymore, & then she went off on one at me!!! :O :O I was just so upset at that. She told me I was being dramatic! I'll tell you what dramamtic is -- when I worked at a Christian hospital we had some mental health patients; one night we spent the best part of the shift looking for a young girl who had said she was suicidal & then went missing. We eventually found her sitting up a tree--- that's dramatic!! So, I feel abandoned, both physically and spiritually.
When I went with Geoff to see Bob yesterday evening, I knew he wouldn't make it to the weekend, but I couldn't say that. People say 'how long has he got?' it's a question you can't answer, but experienced hospice nurses (like me) have clues. It was good to see his symptoms being managed well and that he was at peace. It's soothing to know that he's with his wife and his mum. He married again (off the rebound, shall we say) but his love was still with Anne. I silently prayed for peace in his soul last night. Geoff appears almost cheerful today. He's in his element, running around for everyone............

Anyway, let's get back to my real love (apart from my girls) -- scrapping!
I've managed to do loads of layouts this past few days. It's almost that I get more inspiration when I'm feeling worse.
I took masses of photos over Christmas & now I'm scrapping them 'hot off the press'!
I got covered in glitter yesterday trying to cover chipboard embellishments. I like getting messy when I'm fed up!!!
I can't believe that my Scrapaholics' club has been running for a whole year on the 18th January!! I'm having a party night to celebrate!

Anyway, now I've got my computer back I'll keep you up to date with everything.
Please pray for the soul of brother Bob, for the Baker family & friends as they cope with their grief, for my not coping well & for protection from Satan.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year all of you Blog-Readers!!!! This is the first time that I've been able to log on [blasted AOL] but more likely just overload...
I hope you all had a brilliant Christmas & felt the love of the Lord on His special day.

I have been scanning & printing off some of the photos that I have on the walls etc.
So, as I'm tired, sick & fed up, feeling the need to punch someone on the nose, I'll just leave you for today & show you the most gorgeous pictures ever.....

God blessXXX