Thursday, 19 June 2008


Sorry that I didn't get round to doing the sample layout as promised. I had all intention of doing it but as my son gets married on Saturday, everything has gone a bit haywire round here. I'm trying to get my head round the fact that i felt so left out, in comparison to my input with jen's wedding. Kelly did ask me to help with the 'favours' - we did those on Saturday afternoon - and Ian has now decided to leave from here after all, instead of going from my Sister-in-law's place, as I was so upset (he made me cry).
I know I have let my family down, having this Fibromyalgia. I have lost all my energy & enthusiasm with life, and I get so hyper-sensitive. I would give my eye teeth to be like I was before I got this, but I know I have to accept that I won't be like I was but instead to make good use of my good / better days to do something worthwhile (at the moment it's a bit of spring cleaning). My counsellor has helped me to come to terms with my loss of self-esteem & self-worth. I know I have skills that I can use but it's taking that step of faith.... My scrapping evenings give me such pleasure.

Monday, 16 June 2008

Manic Monday!

Sorry haven't been on here for a bit but the ol' gremlins have been at me again. They make my legs go spastic & twisted at night so I have to call out (very loudly) to my husband to come & help me to ease the pain. He has to massage my legs & they twtch like mad. My arms twitch too; when I was holding my baby granddaughter yesterday I had to pass her over as my hand was having a life of its own. This is a relatively new aspect to my illness. It started happening following my awful experience in the Kent & Sussex Hospital (aka "Kent & Snuffit!")in February. I'm still awaiting a response to my letter of complaint, the letter has gone to the chief exec, and they have asked if they could have a 2 week extension as their investigation is taking more time. I still get upset when I think or talk about my experience & I'm very nervous when I go out, I can't wait to get home. My Faith has also taken a battering, I feel I cannot worship a God who has dealt all this to me. I have loads of friends in our church who visit me & bring food round so Geoff doesn't have to cook, so I feel guilty but I'm reassured that my faith will return. It reminds me of the poem 'Footsteps'.

I will be holding my club nite, as scheduled, on Thursday coming (19th). I have some wonderful kits that require lots of cutting & chalking. I will have a large selection of chalks for you to try. The kit suits a black & white photo. I will do an example today (hopefully) & post it up on here. I look forward to seeing you all!!

My son gets married on Saturday, to Kelly. The wedding, a civil marriage, is taking place in a hotel in Tunbridge Wells. Whereas I was full-on with my daughter jenny's wedding preparations, I have had very little involvement with Ian's. I feel a bit left-out really, but it's up to them.
The girls are being bridesmaids. They are wearing ruby red dresses in a grown-up style. The colour compliments their skin colour. I can't say any more in case he reads this!! He's my only son (my eldest) and he's so much like my dad (who died in 2000). My dad would have been very proud of him, the way he's got himself settled in a career and I know he would have liked Kelly.
I'm proud of all my 4 children. I make it sure that I tell them how much I love them & how proud I am of each one of them every day. My relationship with Jen has blossomed & I love the [smelly] socks off her. Since I've been ill the relationship I have with my children, my husband & my mum has changed completely. The 2 youngest - Lizzie, as she likes to be called, is 12 and Alice is 10 - they argue as to whos turn it is to change my Morphine patch for me! They can't wait to get into their pyjamas & join me in my [single] bed when they come home from school, for a cuddle. On most days my body can't cope beyond 3 or 4pm and I have to rest.

Anyway, I think that's all for now. My neck is burning where I have Spondylosis, so I have to limit the time I sit unsupported. I have one of those ergonomic chairs which are good for the lower back but it doesn't help my neck.
Thanks for reading my blog. My counter gave up at 1,600 odd hits! I'll get round to replacing it. Bye for now!