Christmas Eve

My God! I think the whole world's toppling in on me. My husband can't talk to me in a civil way, keeps 'tutting' & rolling his eyes all the time instead of answering my questions. I really think he hates me. When I first came out of hospital he was all over me like a hawk, but now he seems to have got bored with that. I can't help being ill, and things are getting worse, but I need him beside me & not against me all the time.
Yes, I think 2007 is going to be different -- if Geoff carries on like this I'm leaving him to live with my mum. I can't cope with it for a minute longer.
He says he's tired - but he won't turn work away, won't come to bed earlier etc. He's still spending so much time at the church too. It all equates, to me, that he wants to be away from me as much as possible. I don't say I blame him. I'm only a tiny minute part of what I used to be in our marriage. I have 2 chronic illnesses and have experienced this awful situation in the Summer. I've got yet another chest infection and I keep getting chest pain again. I seriously wish I had died when I stopped breathing when I was in hospital, it would have made life easier for him.

I had a friend, and her husband, drop round today. It was lovely to see her. I was trying to find a layout that I'd done about when I delivered her daughter, but I couldn't find it. I thought I'd lost an album [but how?] then I remembered that, because that particular album is so thick, I'd laid it down on a shelf beneath. Phew! Fleur promised she'd call in & bring Melissa (my Goddaughter) with her, so I can show her it then.

Suzanne dropped round yesterday afternoon & it was very refreshing to have some 'girlie' talk as Geoff had gone to the Pantomime with the girls. I'm hoping that 2007 will be a year of re-kindling of friendships. When I was so poorly it made me think that we should value our friends and that bickering is such a waste of energy.
Suzanne is running a scrapping day on the 23rd [?] January at Golden Green Nr Tonbridge, and she's also running a weekend retreat. Email me via the comments if you're interested.

So, just for now, thank you for listening to me rant on. HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!