On the 3rd day of Christmas........

....... my true love went to work.... So mum & the kids (+one dog) got all in one bed to watch the usual Christmas films -- Herbie & 101 Dalmatians. It's these kinda days that make Christmas what it is -- relaxing, family time. In fact, to be perfectly honest, I was so relaxed that I went to sleep (I could hear myself snoring!!!)

How did all your Christmases go?
We went to my eldest daughter's (she's 24) for the first time at Christmas - they usually come to me. She did very well, the dinner was excellent. The boys were the usual horrors. Liam (who's 4) is so destructive (I found out today that he's already broken his drum set by stamping on the big drum :O). I can never work him out, all I can think of is attention-seeking. I'm very concerned that the boys will drive Carl and Jenny apart with their diabolical behaviour.
Next year I'm going to put money away in their accounts & then give them a moderate present to open. They were so unappreciative of what they did get.
The girls were totally different this year, much quieter. I remember from the first two -- they grow up!!!!

Geoff's trying to mend our boiler - it packed up on Christmas day.... :O Typical!

We had a quiet boxing day, my mum came for the day. The only noise was the sound-effects from the 'Deal or no Deal' electronic game that Jen bought them.
I was a bit upsetwith my mum, really. She never actually acknowledge the Canvas Album that I'd made her with the title 'Family'. So, I asked her what she'd had for Christmas. She went on & on about the pot-dog Westie that her friend had given her (how it sat at the table when they ate dinner, how it sat and watched TV..........), she said a couple of other presents, then, in passing, she said 'oh, and that book thing you made me'-- so unusual for her. She did thank me for the 'Angels' CD. I'd spent hours making that album, all I can think of is that I hadn't included a photo of my brother, her 'Golden Boy', and his partner. I might ask if I'd offended her....

Geoff gave me a beautiful silver heart with Jewellry inside. It's amazing (as Zara Phillips says!). After him & the girls doing the days of advent with presents I really didn't expect such a beautiful gift. The girls made things for me, Elizabeth went to a plate-painting shop with the Guides & made a beautiful plate for me. I shall treasure that. I also had some 'smellies' which I love. Geoff gave me a 'weekend bag' that contained 'The Sanctuary' toiletries and the bag is ideal to carry my tablets inside when we go away, or, dare I say it, I have to go back into hospital (I was close last week).
I start my Warfarin tomorrow.

I've got a funeral to go to tomorrow at 2pm -- my Aunt who died last week. Just right, just after Christmas.

Christmas Eve

My God! I think the whole world's toppling in on me. My husband can't talk to me in a civil way, keeps 'tutting' & rolling his eyes all the time instead of answering my questions. I really think he hates me. When I first came out of hospital he was all over me like a hawk, but now he seems to have got bored with that. I can't help being ill, and things are getting worse, but I need him beside me & not against me all the time.
Yes, I think 2007 is going to be different -- if Geoff carries on like this I'm leaving him to live with my mum. I can't cope with it for a minute longer.
He says he's tired - but he won't turn work away, won't come to bed earlier etc. He's still spending so much time at the church too. It all equates, to me, that he wants to be away from me as much as possible. I don't say I blame him. I'm only a tiny minute part of what I used to be in our marriage. I have 2 chronic illnesses and have experienced this awful situation in the Summer. I've got yet another chest infection and I keep getting chest pain again. I seriously wish I had died when I stopped breathing when I was in hospital, it would have made life easier for him.

I had a friend, and her husband, drop round today. It was lovely to see her. I was trying to find a layout that I'd done about when I delivered her daughter, but I couldn't find it. I thought I'd lost an album [but how?] then I remembered that, because that particular album is so thick, I'd laid it down on a shelf beneath. Phew! Fleur promised she'd call in & bring Melissa (my Goddaughter) with her, so I can show her it then.

Suzanne dropped round yesterday afternoon & it was very refreshing to have some 'girlie' talk as Geoff had gone to the Pantomime with the girls. I'm hoping that 2007 will be a year of re-kindling of friendships. When I was so poorly it made me think that we should value our friends and that bickering is such a waste of energy.
Suzanne is running a scrapping day on the 23rd [?] January at Golden Green Nr Tonbridge, and she's also running a weekend retreat. Email me via the comments if you're interested.

So, just for now, thank you for listening to me rant on. HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!

Saturday -- the 23rd day od advent my family sent to me ----

A Cherished Teddy Angel!!!
Every day my husband & 2 children have brought me in a present, wrapped, with a photo of me in various guises & ages (except one was my dad, but as I did look like him, I forgive him). The kids really love it! I've got so much chocolate!!!!! I weigh a whole lot more than I did -- and we're not talking pounds here. It's a combination of the medication & the fact that my illnesses have slowed me down. After Christmas my friend Hayley & I are going on a weight reducing diet (she's also infirm like me) & I'm going to get one of those cycling things where you can pedal while you're sitting down.

I went out carol singing yesterday, with the church. We give out cards with a Christmas message on plus an item that co-ordinates with the message. I went in my motorised wheelchair. I was frozen to death, luckily someone had a car blanket which they wrapped around me, apart from around the church area there were no dropped curbs. At one point I had 4 guys shoving me from behind -- one had has hands on my buttocks shoving me!!!!!!!!! Geoff just does it one his own (IYKWIM??????? :O) Next time I'll listen to myself & I'll stay at home. He didn't even say 'you did really well coming out tonight'. That would have meant a lot.

I can't believe it's only 2 more sleeps to Christmas day... Another week & it'll be all over completely!

I've found out today that my son-in-law-to-be is reading my BLOG --- :O I'd better watch what I say!!!

Thank God it's Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank God it's Friday & I don't have to be alone with the kids for 4 whole days!!! :O Mind you, my husband is already planning his workload for Wednesday. I did think he might take a couple more days off, especially seeing that I'm not well again. Oh well. He has to work as I only get the basic Incapacity Benefit. I have applied for the Disabled Living Allowance (DLA) with help from a friend from church, Ken, who used to work in Social Services & now is a full-time carer (and husband) to Rowena who has MS. They are a delightful couple, real genuine Christians. I'm hoping & praying that I'm successful in my application, I'd really appreciate your prayers too. Thank you.

I wasn't so well yesterday as I wasn't so well. However, I did manage to finish my cards & wrap my parcels. I just have one or two left to wrap. That takes the pressure off a bit. I've put notes on the present tags to explain that, due to my illness & lack of income, I felt that it would be best to just concentrate on the kids. I hope they'll understand.
We're off carol singing this evening with our church. I shall be going on my motorised buggy. There's a woman who lives round here who had adorned her buggy out with a big Christmas tree, lights & all, and she has a Reindeer singing 'Silent Night'!!!! Anyway, according to the local rag she's been dressing up as Santa & giving out presents to children of less fortunate families. God bless her. I'm trying to get a bit more festive as I don't feel anything at the moment. :(
We decided, in our wisdom, to go to Sainsbury's to stock up for Christmas, bad move.... Remind me next year not to do it -- I was absolutely whacked & felt really grim. I was leaning on the trolley for support & having my portable oxygen. People were shoving about, jabbing me in the back. I did come across a couple of kind people though.
My husband took ages looking for the wine -- he looks to see which one is the best bargain, even if it's only by a few pence. He knew I was feeling unwell. I'll let him do it next year.
I picked up my prescription at the spanking new pharmacy at Sainsbury's & the assistant got me a chair & got my presription done extra quick, bless her.

I'm going to do some clearing up later. I'd started on the dining room yesterday, but then the kids decided to clear up the sitting room, at Geoff's suggestion, so everything from the sitting room is now in the dining room!!!!
My mum's coming up tomorrow. She does my ironing for me. The girls call her "Nanny McFee" as she's quite firm with them, but they still love her all the same. Mum's coming for Boxing day.
We're at my eldest daughter's on Christmas day. We're having beef -- I bought a nice joint yesterday. It's going to be difficult as the boys (my grandsons) will be out of their trees, full of sweets & over-excitement... :O My girls are already whizzy & they're 10 1/2 & almost 9. All giggly & silly girlies. Did I ever tell you I'd rather be tucked up under my duvet with my little dog tucked in beside me?????

I went to a craft shop just the other side of Sevenoaks/ Westerham the other day. hayley took me out. I made myself a few kits up (it's easier to do that if you're going to a day crop) and stashed up my Bazill cardstock. I'd matched it all up but the assistant put all the Bazill together & the cardstock together (grrr) so now I've got to sort it all out. Still, it'll give me something to do...... :) lol There's some beautiful papers out there. I particularly like the DaistD's -- it reminds me of my old Nan's sofa, IYKWIM.

Husband has just come in (12.42).

I'm just going to do my 'little jobs' now.

Tuesday 19th

Well, I managed to wrap most of my parcels & write most of my cards. What a shame I couldn't add 'all' instead of 'most'. Still, I plan to finish today.
maybe then I'll feel like it's Christmas instead of feeling so awful & ratty like I do at the moment.

I had a Drs appointment today, with Sarah who I used to work alongside when I was a senior staff nurse in A&E in the 1980s. She is so gentle & respectful, and she understands about what I've been through in this past 6 months. Anyway, I've been rather short of breath & coughing a lot lately & needing more Oxygen again. I also felt very unwell on Sunday. Anyway, it appears that there's still this area of fluid that the so-called Dr hadn't dealt with properly & it keep getting infected. So,I now have yet another chest infection & I'm on more antibiotics.
Also, we went through my clotting screen & I start Warfarin on the 29th. Why the 29th? It coincides with the INR blood test regime. Thank the Lord I'm getting somewhere. Maybe now I'll regain my confidence.

I'm going to do a layout titled 'My Plans for 2007' -- I need to be more positive and see the future & have aims in order to see me through this awful loss of confidence & worthlessness I feel, and have felt since I became ill with the virus that started off this debilitating illness, Fibromyalgia. People ask what's wrong with you, my answer they don't understand, so I have to explain it every time & that gets me down. Or they think it's nothing because they haven't heard of it. I know people think I'm swinging the lead because they can't see anything wrong. They don't see the awful pain I go through, the lack of mobility before I get crippled with pain & have to practically crawl along, the pains I get when I try to go to the loo & the problems I have with speech.
For example: I had one incident when I was a community nurse, just before I left my wonderful job -- wiped out because of this illness. We had a massive workload this particular evening/night & the evening shift were asked to do a couple of the night crews' visits. They kept yacking so I suggested we got on with it. We went to one of our regular visits. This lady had a bed-bound disability & we would change her position & change her pad. Well, when the Auxilliary went to get some water from the bathroom, I was chatting to **** & that she'd got another nasty sore on her thigh. We were talking about my Rosie (Westie) as she loves westies too, and, out of the blue I said "I'll bring Rosie & she'll lick you better" - it just came out wrong. I didn't mean about Rosie licking her wound but Rosie licking her better as an embrace. I was so embarrassed about this, apologised & explained about 'Fibrofog'. Patient was fine. But the Auxilliary couldn't wait to tell the Sister-in-Charge, and she was so obvious that that was what she was going to do. People go behind your back all the time, is what I'm saying, because they simply don't understand that when a Fibromyalgic gets over-tired their words become jumbled & come out all wrong. It's so dreadful.I feel like I must isolate myself from everyone.
I get so depressed. It's so difficult to remember that there is a God out there somewhere, I feel so abandoned. No matter how much ministry I receive it makes no odds. It's the usual question - if there is a God out there why has He done this to me? Answers on a postcard please... btw there are no answers.

Oohhhh.. I've got the miseries today....

Let's get back to scrapping.
I love to stitch on my layouts, whether machine or hand. I have always been a crafter since my nan taught me to knit at the age of 5. I try & use these other skills within my layouts. Having not used my sewing machine for a while, it had siezed up & refused to do the job. A friend of mine gave me hers - brilliant! It will only do 1 sheet of cardstock or a sheet of card & light paper or it breaks the thread. Hand-stitching - you need to use a paper-piercer to make holes beforehand, making running stitch, cross stitch, blanket stitch, herringbone, zig-zag, and all the embroidery stitches in the book. The layout I had published in this months' Scrapbook Inspirations has hand stitching on it. It takes patience but is well worth the effort. Give it a go!!

The 18th Day of advent........

Phew! What a busy weekend! There was I thinking I'd finish my cards & wrap my presents.........
I'd better amend that to 'by Friday'! I have finish making handmade cards, it's just the 'normal' ones that need writing.

I found out today that a dear Aunt of mine passed away at the weekend. My cousin said she was feeling a bit unwell with headaches on Saturday, and, on Sunday, when Sally tried to phone her there was no answer. She was found dead in her bed. That's kinda put the dampners on my day and has certainly ruined my cousin's. Sally had an 11 year old boy who was the diamond in my Aunt's eye. Poor lad. Sally said he's being strong... Please pray for them as they cope with this tragedy.

Hayley & I managed to get to Babs' house, eventually... I had been rather a prawn. I'd done AA Autoroute to Barnehurst on her post code BUT....... I hadn't put down her address... DER!!! So I rang my [very grumpy] Dobbo, who tutted & muttered but he came up with the address. I was so upset because I felt I'd let everyone down -- Hayley, because she was driving, and Babs because we had less time with her at her house.
We discussed FSUK (www.faithscrappersuk.com) and how the clubs would work out & the format. If we were going to do kits to go with the clubs or whether that side would be up to the club leader. We deccided that, for the first club night, we would use a kit to make a journal, with the idea that the members could write down any inspirations. Ironic, because Hayley had asked me to do exactly that, on our way up to Babs. Personally, I think it would be easier for us leaders to have control over kits from that point, it would take the pressure off Babs a bit. Of course we would look in her shop for embellishments etc.
It was good to meet Helen (aka 'Owl'), who had come all the way up to Babs (aka 'magic lady') (who is almost in London outskirts) from Hampshire. Hayley took a photo of us 3 together (Hayley doesn't do UKS yet) - I'll post this later as promised. I really do need to lose weight.......
It was such a shame that no-one else turned up except us who live further away... those who live closest didn't come. People are so busy at this time of the year that they make forgotten promises, unintentionally.
Did I say I'd finish by Friday????????????

Friday 15th Dec

The time's flying by so quickly it's scary....
It's a case of if I haven't got it now that's that. I refuse to get stressy about 2 days in 365. People rushing about, spending money we don't have / can ill-afford which leaves us quaking in our boots when the credit card statement's due in January. I've done the majority of my shopping on-line this year, due to my disabilities, and it's far easier & you don't have to carry the bags. You still get the offers, in fact Studio24 has the most awesome offers with good products. I got card stock, toppers, punches, alphabets, to name a few, for my card making. I've just received another parcel (2 actually) today. My plan for the weekend is to write all my cards & wrap the majority of the parcels. I'm also going to put a little card in with each adult card saying that, due to our change in financial position, we will buy for the children only. I'm down over £1000 a month since I had to leave work due to my illnesses. I'm hoping they'll understand. I want to give special things to special people.

I'm going to meet Babs tomorrow - the Faith Scrappers UK lady - to discuss clubs etc. I must remember to fill out all the forms to take with me. My dear friend Hayley is taking me as Geoff is up to his eyes with fetching & carrying for our girls. We are going to slip in a quick visit to 'Creative Pastimes' - a fabbo craft shop - as I've run out of card stock to make family cards. I know I'll end up spending just a few more pennies .......... :)

I had a book delivered from Amazon today. It's called 'Faith Books & Spiritual Journalling' by Sharon Soneff. It's all about incorporating your faith in the Lord alongside your love of craft. As I see my creative skills as a gift from God, this was the perfect book for me. It show examples of all sorts of mini-books, boxes, flag albums, layouts & such. I feel that things like this make good gifts for those special people who would appreciate such a thing. For example, I have made a paper bag book, based on our long-term relationship, for my close friend of 30+ years. I have also dedicated a canvas album, a scrapaholics class using 2 6x6" canvases to make either an 'on the wall' project or an album , as I have, to my Mum. I used photos of my past layouts on some of the pages, an idea I may use again.
I find making gifts so rewarding. I remember a couple of years ago I made Star Books for my 2 dear friends and my mum. I got so much excitable feedback that I vowed to to more of this. Anyone can walk round Woolworths with a basket.........

Thank the Lord, I'm getting my hair cut today! I had my nails done yesterday, all ready for Christmas, with a little Diamante star on each thumb nail. Very BLING! I'm going to get my husband to take a piccie later - I feel a layout coming on!

New layout pictures

I have added a couple of layout pictures to demonstrate simple hand-cutting techniques.

It's still windy Thursday!!!

I can't believe this weather! The wind blows you off your feet -- and it's draughty when you're standing out in the garden with a pooch on a lead waiting for it to poo. The wind blew my neighbour's fence down & now we have a gaping hole where Rosie is quite excited about getting through (Rosie is my Westie), so we have to keep taking her outside. I hear you all asking "why don't you take her for a walk then?" - I cannot walk because of my FMS & I need Oxygen for a chest condition. No-one else will walk her for me. People make open statements like "if you want me to walk Rosie, just ask" and you know for a fact that they're to busy to walk a mutt. Luckily she's forgiving & is just as happy cuddling up with me. Mum comes up on Saturdays to do my ironing and she takes Rosie out for me.

I managed to finish the order of cards! Yay! I'm hoping my husband did get them to her yesterday evening as I asked, because I had an email from my friend asking where they'd got to (in a nicest possible way). My husband is so tied up with his church activities that he forgets about anything else. He doesn't need to do this youth club, he does it for interest. He knew that I was struggling with pains in my joints and that the girls (10 & almost 9) have 'end-of-term -itis' and were behaving in a very bad way. Even when he came back to collect the playstation, and saw how they were, he just said 'behave' and went out of the door. I ended up upset , and , boy, did that change their attitude. I feel that people are bored of my illnesses and don't want to know anymore.

My craft is going to go out of the window. My pain in my wrist makes crafting very sore, especially hand-cutting titles. I've had 'Craft-robo' suggested, but it's just too expensive. I'm hoping that, when the Cricut comes in, people will sell their Craftrobo's on Ebay... If there's anyone out there with sympathy for a disabled person, who has a spare/redundant Craft-Robo then I beg you to think of me...... just leave a message for me. Thank you.
Going back to hand-cutting titles. People draw back at the thought of hand-cutting but it's not that difficult. I use a VERY sharp knife (or break the end off of those types of disposable knives) as blunt/over-used ones just tear the paper; I use a sheet of A4 glass (from a clipper frame) - or you can use a tile - i take a smaller piece of glass for retreats etc.; move the paper & not the knife; cut out the centres of a's, b's, e's etc first, it's almost impossible to cut them once you've cut the whole title; finally, opt for a simpler font, such as 'Goodfellow', to get you going, and 'Laurenscript' is another effective font; use [plain] Wordart to get your size and then reverse the whole title in order to 'mirror' it - you'll cut from the back & therefore you don't get lines. There you are! Simple! I'll post a layout demonstrating a hand-cut title.

Windy Wednesday!!!

Blimey! The wind! It's the kinda wind that gets in all your nooks and crannies!! :0 Apparently it's with us over the weekend, :(

Did you see the Royal Performance last night?????? Wellllllllllllll............ Who told Katie Price she could sing? Bless her, she was up there singing her dear little heart out thinking she looked romantic..... not.. I knew I shouldn't have watched it. There were the usual 'painful' acts, comedians who laugh at themselves, and the rest.

I still haven't done my cards. I have one more to finish a regular order of 20. I always have trouble getting peel-offs that say ' -in-law'. It was bad enough when I could get about independantly but now it's impossible. Now my husband has asked for me to do him some for his company and for his colleagues at Rochester Cathedral. I'll eventually get around to my own... I don't care as long as my direct, close, family gets a decent handmade card. Christmas has turned into a chore since I was diagnosed with FMS. Everything is a major effort & reall all you want to do is sleep. If I was single & childless, I know that's what I'd do. People[kindly] say 'if you want me to do anything'..., but people have worries of their own.
We need to bring Christmas back to where it should be and adapt our minds a little. We need to remember the reason for Christmas --- Jesus is the reason for the season --- and not queueing for hours in shops for the toy of the year, to find it's out of stock. And these toys are more packaging than anything.
Stop moaning Gill!!!!!

Did I mention that I had a layout published in this months' Scrapbook Inspirations? It's so awe inspiring to see your work in print that you want to run around screaming at the top of your voice!!!!!

I have seen a couple of layouts I want to submit in their next call.

I enjoy making mini books, such as paperbag books, Accordion books, mini books in a tin. I also enjoy making these to add to layouts as journalling or to contain extra photos. Scrapaholics did a class recently, using coasters as part of the layout. I did a mini book which I attached to my layout using velcro squares so it's easier to read. It was my favourite layout at that time.

Somehow I've ended up with 2 blogs!!!!!

I'll see what happens when I log in next time.
Anyway, I'll repeat the last post so you don't lose out on my never-ending & exciting life !!!
I'm looking forward to meeting up with Babs on Saturday afternoon. Babs is the one who has come up with, and is leading, Faith Scrappers UK. This is a club similar to a Christian Housegroup but it's combined with scrapbooking. I have 2 or 3 people who are already interested if it does get taken up. Babs is running her first group in January; I might just have to wait until February as I have to run my Scrapaholics club too.
I haven't done any scrapbooking since the UKScrapper's cyber-crop weekend,I'm, as they say, Scrapped out!
I have made 16 cards for a church friend!
But........... I haven't made my own yet!
I feel so behind this year but I'm hoping that people understand this. As I have to rely on other people, usually my poor husband, to ferry me around & help me out. I've got worse this week as I've been put on a pain killer called Zomorph which is knocking me off my feet. I've reduced the dose slightly & I seem a bit better. However, I've started this cough & it really hurts. So, I'm having more oxygen again. I don't think the 2 are linked as my GP knows about my chest problems in the Summer. What concerns me is that I still have a small pocket of fluid on my left lower lung & I'm hoping it's not that. My mouth is also extremely dry. I feel absolutely exhausted all the time, which is just the FMS & have a low appetite. I thought I was getting better..............

Friday 8th December

Today's the day! I have taken that step of faith and have set up this blog to share my love of Scrapbooking, to spread the word about my Christain faith and to share info about my scrapbooking clubs.
Have you ever met someone through an unusual avenue & know that he/she is going to affect your life in some way? I post on the ukscrappers forum (www.ukscrappers.co.uk) and we recently had a cybercrop (like a retreat but on-line). I was trolling my way through all the layouts that were submitted and came across this lovely layout that included some Christian element. I left a plaudit commenting on how lovely it was to see the Lord included in a layout. Anyway, the artist of the layout replied to me. Her name is Babs, she lives not all that far from me, she's a Christian, like myself, and has had a vision of setting up a Christian Scrappers Group where members can share in their love of God & express this within their hobby. This group is Faith Scrappers UK (www.faithscrappersuk.com) and will be starting in the new year. I have taken the step of faith and have committed myself to run a group here in Southborough, near Tunbridge Wells, in Kent. My chosen club name is The Southborough & Tunbridge Wells FSUK Group. I'm meeting Babs next Saturday.
Isn't that just amazing?
I'll be posting pictures of layouts compiled during Scrapaholics and FSUK club nights. Both groups are totally different and have different formats. With Scrapaholics my role is that of a tutor, each month I teach a different technique which is practised using a kit composed by Scrapaholics. The kits cost £6 and membership/admin costs £1.50, total cost of a fun & interesting evening is £7.50. This includes teas/coffees/ soft drinks as well as nibbles and sweeties!
My FSUK evening will run in a totally different way. The focus will be on the Lord as well as scrapbooking:

• We open with prayer and a Bible reading then -
• we briefly study this reading before -
• doing a scrapbooking layout using the subject as a title/theme of your layout, such as my 'How Great thou art' layout - natures wonder & God's hand in it, using a kit (of good value) made up by myself
• There will be Christian music playing throughout the evening
• At the end we will comment & praise each others' layouts
• Finally, we close with prayer and the Grace

My role in the FSUK club is that of host & adviser.

So, both clubs are so different that I do not feel I'm being disloyal to either.

If you read this and would like further information, click on the links or email me!