Sunday 30th March 2008

So sorry I haven't made an entry in my blog for a while but I have been really, really poorly. I had a major flare-up of my Fibromyalgia & ended up with another bout of pneumonia. I refused to go into hospital at first - I had on-call doctor plus ambulance people trying to force me to go in but I dug my heels in, but then my husband called the doctor in again as I was all over the place & I was forced to go in. The ward they put me on was dreadful & the nursing care was non-existent - I had one junior sister verbally abusing me at one point. They'd suddenly stopped all my medication (including the morpine) for whatever reason that no-one could answer. So, in effect, they put me through "cold turkey" - it was absolutely horrendous. I was actually ashamed of my own profession. They left me for hours vomiting & have uncontrollable diarrhoea (sorry for too much info but it was so undignifying). I knew I was written up for anti-sickness injection as one lovely night sister gave me some via my drip. One care assistant discontinued my drip because the machine kept bleeping due to the position of the cannula in the fold of my arm. I couldn't tolerate even a sip of water so I was dehydrated!! She also took away my oxygen so I went from 4L a minute (a lot) to nothing just like that. They didn't have a clue. It turns out that I am allergic to the antibiotic. All I wanted (and needed) was to rest but this particular sister took away all my bedlinen so I had to sit in the chair. I was freezing cold, puking & everyone ignored me, prefering to sit & natter at the nurses desk (opposite my bed so they couldn't fail to see what a state I was in) & my eldest daughter (who has been a real support to me) said thay were reading 'chat' magazines. I asked for an urgent commode (the loo was too far away) and I was told blatantly that I couldn't have one & I ended up shitting my self like an old incontinent lady. This sister also yelled at me when I dropped my drink, because I had lost my spatial awareness, "Oh god, what have you done now" & scowling at me. Crumbs, if we'd shouted at patients like that we'd have been up before the matron. It would never have happened. It wasn't like they were short staffed either, so they weren't run off their feet.
The consultant I was under couldn't have read my notes properly as he was talking about my DVT & Pulmonary Embolism which I was hopitalised for in summer 2006. He didn't listen to my chest at all. I told him I was going home and he said "okay". So I was discharged having had no fluids for over a week. I got out of there because I feared for my life. As I walked (my husband couldn't find a wheelchair) from the ward to the car I was willing myself along & prayed that I wouldn't collapse and have to go back. As I walked I was leaking. It was horrendous, I still have nightmares over it. My husband was moaning & calling me stubborn. He is such a 'yes' man he wasn't my advocate at all. he couldn't see that I was being neglected. I just feel that when I'm in hospital I'm out of the way.
When we got home my husband contacted on-call care and a doctor came out and he was astonished at the state of me. He gave me an injection to stop the sickness. My own Gp (and friend) was amazed at the lack of care and was mystified as to why they felt they should stop all my medication. I was exhausted because my nerves & muscles were all tensed & tingling and I was very dehydrated. She gave me some cyclizine (brilliant drug) which succeeded in easing the sickness. Once I got back on the Amitriptylline (a drug for neuropathic pain) everything stopped "jumping around". I'm back on all my medication but I haven't gone back on the slow-release morphine, I'm just having the Fentanyl patch. I lost a stone & a half in a week (not that it shows).
I was admitted to hospital overnight of the 20th February and it's taken me 'til now to start feeling anywhere near better. I had to have a 'duvet day' yesterday as my legs were so painful - I wish they'd chop them off so I don't get such pain. This morning I felt peculiar, it felt like it was all going to happen again. I still have bad dreams about it all & I find it hard to get to sleep as my mind is going haywire.
It was my daughter Jenny who did all the supporting & I'm making her my carer & advocate on a document that I'm drawing up so that, if I have to go in again (which I probably will) she will do all my care etc. I'm also in the process of making an official complaint about the standard of nursing care on the ward & how that sister abused me verbally.

Sorry I had to cancel two club nites. I am aiming, positively, to run the April class on the 17th. I shall be using the kit that I had made up for February. It's a Love theme. The kit contains a sheet of the new bazill pre-pricked cardstock with hearts you can sew, sheets of gorgeous double-sided papers, 2 crocheted flowers, brads, two generous lengths of ribbon fibres in pink & green & some DMC embroidery floss in various colours. I will get an example done, God willing. The min's willing but the body's a mile behind!!!

Bless you all who have sent cards or visited. I have really found out who my real friends are. The people at church set up a rota to provide dinners so that Geoff didn't have to do any cooking. That was so appreciated by everyone. It's acts of kindness like that that make you realise that there are such good & compassionate people around. God bless them all.