Sorry I haven't posted for a while..............

Things have been a bit wobbly (literally!!!!!) for a few days. I know that my FMS is getting worse, especially the fatigue element, but I must not let it take over my life. It would be oh so easy for me to just curl up in bed with a hot wheatbag & stay there, I feel that bad some days. So I try & overcome this & make the effort to at least get up, if only to stay in my Jammies. I'm not going to let this horrid illness, condition, disease, or whatever, to rule my life & render me a useless being that I feel I am.
I'm having counselling [Christian] to help me to overcome major issues that have affected & are affecting my life. Such a complex thing to do. My illness has left me with nothing. I was a good nurse & midwife, I've been told so, and even went to the extent of undertaking a Diploma Course of 3 years to provide relevant levels of care to palliative / Cancer patients. What a waste of time that was -- and I got an 'A' for my last assignment - what an achievement! -- but there's patients out there who need qualified specialist nurses & here's me......

I'm trying hard to keep going for the sake of my family. Jenny's struggling to cope with a husband who has suddenly become jealous of his wife (my daughter) breast-feeding her baby. He wants her to give up or express her milk. That's no good, especially at this early stage. Amy feeds beautifully & Jen's got masses of milk - so why should she give up?? They discussed this pre-natally & he said he wanted Jen to feed as breast milk is the best for baby --- YAY! To see Amy feeding at the breast is so soothing, the little trickle of milk escaping as she can't keep up with it & her little hand gently stroking her mummy's breast that makes the milk let down and the way she comes off full of milk. Why the hell does he want to take that away from her?? The other problem is eczema, which runs through all the girls in the family. Breast feeding will help with that too. He knew that the boys came with the package and has chosen to change their name to his (but not officially), but he's so resenting them too. They have had such a turmoil going on in their lives, they need stability not unrest. Boy, does he yell at them sometimes....
All I can do is be there for her, as she is for me.

I'm out tomorrow at an all-day crop. It's a small group but nevertheless a good one. It will give me a chance to catch up on all the layouts I have planned for Amy. I have that many photos!! She's a little doll & she knows Nana's voice now so I have to whisper if she's asleep! That used to happen when my goddaughter was a baby. If she heard my voice she'd pull her head round to see me. What a privilege. I am so blessed.
I'm still trying to sort my stash out & get it in order on my new shelves. I'm doing it bit by bit. I have so much stash!!!!

Off to rest now I think. It's been a busy day, especially after the counselling session. Bye for now!