Sunny Sunday

Hi all! I hope you're all well.
This week has been a bit of a series of ups & downs for me. I was feeling so well at the beginning of the week - I was getting several layouts completed, doing some sketches in my 'mojo' book and being [almost] pain-free. When I had my nails done on Tuesday evening, Shelly (my beautitian) said I was looking really well. Then Tuesday night came........... I was in so much pain that I had to have a huge dose of Oromorph & wake Geoff to heat up my wheat-bag. I feel so guilty. Then on Wednesday I was so bad that he had to have a day off work.
This is just how Fibromyalgia attacks you. You have really good days that send you into a false sense of security and then... wham! You're back down on the bad place again. I waste so much time of my life resting in bed, but I have absolutely no choice but to do what my body tells me. People just don't understand the dynamics of Fibromyalgia Syndrome, it doesn't show from the outside & I'm sure they think I'm 'swinging the lead'. Believe you me, I'd rather be working, earning a wage, practising in my loved profession & having my independance. I'm sick to death of being cooped up in this house, scared to go out on my own in case I get chest pain again & relying on people to come to me. No, I'm definitely not putting it on.

I have managed to re-home the rats. We had 2 pet rats, cute little girls from the same litter, one was Elizabeth's & the other Alice's. They wanted them because we used to look after Elizabeth's school rat over weekends & holidays. He was called 'Roger' or, when Elizabeth had lost her two front teeth, 'Woger'!!! lol He was so friendly, he loved to be out of his cage & being played with by the girls; but these two were none of the sort. They just wanted to scatter & escape and they bit if you weren't careful. They should have been held & tamed right from the start. Anyway, they ended up being practically neglected. The lady who has taken them will do well with them. We won't be having any more. It's the same with the rabbit - a little tiny baby turns into a full-grown adult. I feel so sorry for him. he's been moved so he's got a better view of the garden. Geoff always fondles him when he feeds him morning & evening.

Elizabeth (11) has started to turn into a teenager :0 she's so mean to her sister. Everything is 'it's Alice' or 'Alice did this'. She's shouting at us & slamming doors. She's so angry with me. I knew it was coming along, but it's still a bit upsetting when your little girl starts turning into a woman. I have been very open with her about her teenage years & changes that occur, both physically & emotionally, so that, hopefully, she'll be open with me. That's all a parent can do; if you start laying down the law then they'll start to rebel. We've brought the young two up a bit differently to the others, we're a Christian family for a start & Elizabeth goes to a R/C Comprehensive school [although we are not R/C].

My eldest daughter, Jenny, who's expecting a baby in early November, has sent me a text to say that she never wants to see me again nor step in this house again. Here we go again. :( The text said that I had been slagging her off to Carl (her husband) about her wanting the baby out & inventing symptoms so that she will get induced early. The truth is, it was Carl who said all those things but I did agree to a certain extent. She said I had been pushing her away when she was trying to be close to me ---- that's the opposite of the truth. I had made a point of hugging her, I even laid with my head on her 'bump' the other day. She's so cruel to me. I'm so upset. Geoff says that I should ignore it but I can't, I'm her mother. She's so jealous of my son, Ian's, girlfriend. Yes, she is pretty & has a typical northern personality, hugs etc. I can't get to grips as to why she's so jealous, Jenny's my flesh & blood for goodness' sake.
You try & bring up your kids the best way you can, then they blow it all back in your face.

Scrapping-wise, this week I've really been going strong! I had my scrapaholics' club Thursday evening but only 3 members could come, illnesses & other commitments etc, but it was lovely as I could actually sit & scrap with them. I really enjoy having fellow-scrappers coming to my house and spend time scrapbooking with me. I also enjoy going to day-crops & weekends. It takes a lot of courage for me to actually go but I have to go just to show people that this horrid illness doesn't rule my life, even if it does. I have a day-crop on the 6th October, run by Karen from the Scrapaholics, and I'm going with Kim, Suzanne & Mel. Suzanne's running a scrapping weekend at a nearby posh hotel at the end of October. I hope I'm okay.

I think that's all for now. I'll post up some of the layouts I've done this weekend.