Sloppy Sunday

OMG! I am suffering so bad with these pains in my legs - it was so bad this morning that I couldn't move. I didn't go to church because I couldn't this morning rather than before when I just didn't want to. I buggered up all Geoff's plans because he was leading at a different church in our parish; I was meant to be taking the girls to our church & bring them home (the church services are different times), so he had to get someone to look after them for us. He must have been sympathetic with me coz he never tutted nor moaned. I had to have 2 lots of Oromorph in the night & I must have slept about 2 hours as I was Up & down trying to get comfy. I ended up with a wheatbag between my knees & another in my back. I read an awful lot of Harry Potter last night!!! lol
I thought I was getting better. I went out with Jen on Friday for her wedding dress fitting (the photos are awesome), I also drove on Friday. We hosted a dinner party on Friday evening --- Geoff did all the work - I did nothing except wash a few pots. I'd dropped right down on my Oxygen requirements & now I've had to have some last night & this morning.
:( Now I feel so fed up.... Keep praying for me all you pray-ers, it would be so comforting knowing that people are still praying for me. Thank you.
I'll just post up the photo of Geoff & I taken Friday evening. It's a bit of a crappy one of me -- I've put on so much weight due to the Gabapentin medication I have to take -- but it's a great one of Geoff.
See you tomorrow. God bless you all.

Saturday 27th

Hi! Sorry I've neglected my blog for a couple of days, for no real reason, except that one or other of the kids have 'kidnapped' my computer! We had quite a lot of snow here in Southborough; it's all gone now, we had sun today but now turned cloudy. You surely see that the days are getting longer now, thank goodness!
I got the results of my X-ray that I had on the 15th, and it's good news. The scarring is lessening & the consolidation of both lower lobes has also lessened, all by slight changes but at least we're heading in the right direction, thank the Lord. I've cut down the amount of Oxygen I have during the day & I've only been having some in the evening & at night; I thought I was getting off it & then I go & get poorly today :( I was meant to be going to a day crop today & I couldn't even stand up this morning. I was, and still am, so angry with myself that I let Suzanne [who had organised it] down. I'm very, very, sorry Suzanne - I promise I won't let you down for the retreat.
I managed another milestone yesterday ----- I drove the car for the first time since June!! Yeah!!!

I saw jenny's wedding dress for the first time yeaterday ------- she looks absolutely beautiful. The dress has lovely detail on the train & it laces up the back & she has a short veil with a little bit of detail & a narrow Tiara headress. I wanted to hug & squeeze her I was so made up. I was able to take photos of her trying on her dress - ready for the first page of her album I'm doing.
The only problem was that she had Liam with her & he was being his usual naughty self; but she also had her friend Diane with her boy who was egging Liam on. It spoilt it totally. The original plan was that she took the boys off somewhere so Jen & I could get on. Diane sat herself down and didn't watch the boys --- until I suggested that she moved herself so the boys would be supervised & also there were other mums & brides-to-be trying on dresses - they don't need naughty children making a raquet. Jen & Carl have been to a marriage preparation day at the church today. It seemed to go alright. Jen was tired out as she worked last night, bless her, I know what it's like.

Someone, a friend from the class I lead, sent me an email saying how upset she was for me at how my Father-In-Law treated me. Thanks for your caring thoughts Tam. I was telling my bestest friend about it on Thursday & she laughed ---- she thought it was funny :O -- no account for people's sense of humour. Let's see how they would feel being told they looked like a witch & need a broomstick & also taking the piss out of me having Oxygen cannula in my nose. Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, it's all finished. I won't take any notice if they do it again. Life's too precious to mull over such trivia. Having almost died in hospital, I have changed my view on life. If things bother me I unload them onto Jesus' cross. Amen

Just to finish; I found a scrapbooking site yesterday that has everything. It's : http://www.scrapbook.com
Go & take a look. The new 3 Bugs in a Rug look lush...........

Tuesday 23rd

I didn't get around to finishing my blog yesterday -- after I'd helped Geoff get the shopping in & sorted out I'd totally forgotten all about it. And I'd got something to make you laugh too, that was a nuisance.
Well, one of the challenges I have to do is to 'alter' something different other than rolling pins, paperbags, boxes, tins, etc etc. I have the bees knees in altered objects -- my crutches! I'm going to stain them with Alcohol Inks & apply other embellishments. After all, I can't go to a day crop or to a retreat with plain old grey crutches can I?? So, resolution / challenge number one is about to become true. Altering boxes won't be the same again!!

I am trying to get together cut titles in preparation for crops & retreats. I thought I'd sort out the alphabets sent to me or those that I have cut at crops / retreats. My Sissix (cutting machine) seems to be playing up. I think it needs a new cutting plate. It's a pain as I wanted to cut a full alphabet, along with shadows, in preparation for Saturday's crop.
When I go to crops & retreats I make up kits to do so that I don't have to worry about how much card / paper stock to take with me, it's all done ready!
I have an all-day crop day on Saturday & a weekend retreat in February.
That'll keep me busy!

Wet Monday

Yuk! The first snow of the Winter albeit only a brief flurry. It's just raining now.

I'm recovering from one of the worst nights since I came out of hospital in July. I had so much pain I didn't know what to do with myself. As I said before, my spine seems to have detereroirated in this past few days, especially my lower spine. It feels as if it's sliding from side-to-side & then my legs go numb and/or tingle. I couldn't get out of the bath again last night. It's all I need is for my back to brew up again now I've got such awful pain in my knees. I also had a bout of chest pain yesterday but the oxygen eased that.
I've got a GP appointment on Wednesday so I'll talk this through with her. Maybe I need to put my Zomorph up a dose??

I find that Scrapbooking takes my mind from the pain; it's still there but I can cope with it. I did a challenge layout yesterday, even Geoff liked it....! I have also been cutting titles out to put with the kits I've made up for the day-crop on Saturday (poor Geoff - he's going to end up having the Grandsons from 10am 'til 3pm - marriage prep day for Jenny & Carl), but he did say I could go. I expect it'll come back to me in the days following. I'm really looking forward to going, I don't get out much. I'm sorting the photos out.

Geoff has just come back from Tescos & I'd better go & give him a hand.

Friday 19th

This entry is going to be a bit on the short side as I have a problem with my spine & knees, with real bad pain. My spine has started to slip sideways & renders me stuck in one place with excruciating pain which is unrelenting. It started doing this yesterday & once Geoff came home from pricing a job I ran a hot bath which usually helps. Anyway, when I went to get out - I couldn't.. I had nothing to grab so I fell in the bath :O I called for Geoff to help me get out of the bath & he had to dry my lower bits & put my knickers on (not literally!). I was stuck stiff. I took a large dose of Oromorph & put my TENS on. I needed to sort it as I had my Scrapaholics club.
I wanted to get better because we were celebrating the club's first anniverary. The kit was also yummy, so I didn't want to cancel.
It ended up going very well. I'll post the pictures of my example of the kit.
I don't know what February's kit is yet.
To those who have Christian Faith -- could you please pray for me & my pain? Thanks.

Thursday 18th January

People who take the piss out of disabled people stink. That's better!
I've been holding in an awful experience that happened to me on Saturday evening at Geoff's family annual get-together. I don't like going at the best of times but I didn't feel the best & Geoff had 'flu & Alice was brewing up a cold. Anyway, I went to support Geoff.
I washed my hair just before we went so that Jen could Straighten it for me as I can't get my arm above my head. As she was doing it my Nephew lit up a cigarette - I had my Oxygen on at the time - so I asked him not to smoke & explained. My Sister-in-Law muttered something under her breath that I couldn't lip-read.... Okay, so that's the start of the evening...
After Jen had finished my hair I went into the sitting room & my Father-in-law said "Where is your broomstick?" I looked at him, and he repeated "All you need is a broomstick".. I turned to my son's girlfriend & asked her if he was trying to say I was a witch, she said she thought so. Then he said "it's horrible". I was talking to kelly & I could hear giggles behind me & I turned to see Bob's late wife & my Father-in-law giggling as Sam (F-I-L) was taking the piss out of my nasal cannula, making gestures like Hitler (ie finger under nose, blah, blah) & they were in hysterics with tears in their eyes. :( :( That was so out-of-order. Geoff wasn't there at the time so he took Sam's side (as usual). No-one was talking to me and Jen was also upset because Gill (my Sister-in-law [the one who made the muttering remark earlier about me]) was heard to say, very loudly, that Jen was a slapper because she took a different bloke to each of these get-togethers. She has been unlucky & vulnerable with these other blokes, but Carl is a different kettle of fish. he's made my daughter into a different person.
I asked Geoff whether Gill was actually aware of how poorly I was & his answer was "I suppose so" -- in other words - no.
My mum never liked the Bakers. She said they're like a mafia -- they draw together tightly, forsaking all others. I wouldn't have been suprised that Geoff, had he been there at the time, would have joined in with laughing at Sam.
Sam held up a glass of whisky & said "this is all you need to get better" -- Bob died of total organ failure due to over consumption of alcohol ... Alcohol is the answer to everything in the Baker family, it's always been that way.
Apparently, it kicked off a bit after we'd gone (9.30) because Jen had supported me & also herself, saying we didn't deserve all those horrid remarks, and also because she wasn't a slapper. Most of the family totally ignored me at the funeral. Sam pulled me to one side & said "I hope we didn't upset you on Saturday, we didn't mean to, we were just having a laugh", my reply was "yes, you did upset me & you meant to". I made the [right] decision not to attend the "wake" afterwards as i think Jen & I would be ignored.
I'm not going to attend any further Baker events, that's final.
The rectors wife came round yesterday because she'd heard waht had happened. We prayed together that I do have a function in life, I am good enough, in God's eyes I'm a special person, no matter how I feel. That they had no right to behave that way towards me & it was purely ignorance on their behalf. Knowing that I was special in Jesus' eyes made me feel so much better.

Wednesday 17th January

OMG! I cannot believe we're over halfway through January already! My dear mum is off to Portugal tomorrow -- lucky thing! What would I give to get some sunshine!
We had Geoff's brother's funeral on Monday -- it left me with nothing, spiritually. There were no hymns or anything & they'd dragged out this priest who no-one knew but someone Bob knew did. This guy was bursting out of his hassock [which could have done with a good clean] & pronounced that he didn't know Bob but a lot of people did... I originally thought that it was going to be a Humanist Funeral ( a mixture of music, prayers, readings, poems, testimonies etc) but it wasn't. I was really proud of Geoff being a pall-bearer.